Now, you know you are a spirit with a soul, wrapped in a body, you need to define yourself based on your self-concept which is made up of your beliefs, values, abilities, goals and social life.
It is important for you to define yourself based on who truly is so that others will not define you based on who you are not. Most people are living in the confused state of being who they are not because they allow people and situations of life to define them.
You can define yourself based on your beliefs and core values not based on your locality, gender, experiences, negative thought processes or what people think or say you are.
Your values and beliefs will portray your real you anywhere you find yourself. They will help you to achieve your goals, abilities and interaction in the social world.
You need to know some core values that make up who you are. Some of the positive values include: Love, Acceptance, Trust, Responsibility, Reliability, Honesty, Respect, Empathy, Courage, Beauty, Calmness, Charm, Integrity, Discretion, Efficiency, Family, Money, Humor, Faith, Independence, Intelligence, Grace, Kindness, Self-discipline, Self-esteem, Optimistic, Hard-work, Confidence, Compassion, Peace, Joy, Creativity, innovation, Transformation, Envision, etc.
Write down a list of these values.
Consciously and mindfully begin to act and live them out in your daily life.
Therefore, if love is one of your core values, begin to exhibit love to yourself and others. Learn to love yourself and appreciate every features you are endowed with. And learn to love and appreciate others. Do not mistake love to lust. Love gives and protects while lust takes and destroys. Love is permanent affection while lust is a temporary fantasy. Love comes from your spirit while lust comes from your soul. Love with a pure heart and a clear conscience. Love attracts love. So even if, your love have been abused, love anyhow and give excuse for those that abuse, reject or conspired against your sincere love. Love has no boundary. Be the love you want to see and enjoy. Love unapologetically. If courage is one of your core values, stand up and tell whoever that care to listen that you are not a dullard that you are intelligent, then go back and study hard; stand up in confident and humility to face anyone who is demoralizing you. Let your environment feel your presence and impact with total humility but great boldness. Stop asking for permission, start giving notice of who you truly are without any apology. Come out of the darkness of your timidity and shyness to the light of your boldness and confident. Shine your light anyhow and anywhere. Anyone that can not stand your light will need to get himself a shade. Or, if honesty is your core values, tell the truth all the time no matter the cost. It high time you be the truth you want people to be to you. Stop cutting corners. Do the right thing even if ninety-nine out of hundred people are doing the wrong thing. Be the one person that is doing the right thing in secret and in open. Start by being truthful to yourself. Yes, start telling YOU the truth. Be prepared to face the ninety-nine oppositions; don’t be afraid because despite the opposition, nature and divine will vindicate you. The light of your truth will outshine the darkness of liars. If compassion is on that list, spend time volunteering by helping the helpless and saving the dying world from ignorance. Give yourself to the service of humanity. If discipline is on the list, start doing the right thing at the right time. Have respect to time management, make promises and keep them. Learn to say “No” without guilt and say “Yes”, without regret. Choose your circle of friends. Talk when it is needed and learn to listen more. Stop the blame game and start taking responsibilities of your actions and inactions.