Hello everyone. Thank you for joining us in today’s discussion on Adolescents’ Storm and Stress – what they need to know and how parents and other adults can help them. Before I proceed, I am your friend, sister and Counsellor Rita. I have here with me some phenomenal members of Think Counseling Concept Team.

Adolescence Storm and Stress

According to the proponent, G. Stanley Hall (1904), this stage of development is a period of inevitable turmoil that takes place during the transition from childhood to adulthood.

This stage is characterized by physical, emotional and biological confusion, anxiety, stress, depression and excitement.

G. Stanley Hall did a great work that continues to control the mindset of Parents and Educators. However, another Stanley, Stanley Tongbe (2020) thinks Adolescence is a period of Excitement and Exploration. It is the poor Management of their excitements and exploratory tendencies that results in the Storm and Stress. If Parents and Educators learn to be a part of the Excitements and Explorations of the Adolescents, they may likely escape the Storm and Stress my name sake used in 1904.

This has been proven by many parents and Educators who are actively involved in the lives of their Adolescents with fun and balancing of freedom and Control!

How else do we understand Adolescence Storm and Stress to be?

Response gotten:

With students gaining Admission into the Universities at 14, 15 these days, by observation, one can clearly see that the storm and stress is much earlier and end earlier now than the 1904 proposition. A 15 year old now is far balanced and well prepared to face life than a 19 year old in 1904. That however depends on preparations from home

Storm refers to decrease level of self- control. Stress here is an increase level of sensitivity

We should also note that this storm and stress is not experienced by every adolescent. Some adolescents passed through this transition stage without any storm nor stress.

Question: Is it possible for an adolescent not to experience storm and stress at all? I want to be educated. Thank you.

Answer: Well, research has shown that there are many Adolescent who do not experienced storm and Stress during their transition stage of development

Categories of Storm and Stress – That is, how an Adolescent respond or react to the storm and stress:

1. Conflict with Parents

2. Mood Disruption (swing)

3. Risk Behavior

As a parent, how has your adolescent demonstrate conflict with you?

Responses gotten

• Mood disruption: Just be moody, Keeping to herself
• Afraid to tell you very important issues
• The Adolescents feels they are big boys/girls that knows everything and their parents don’t know anything!

Mood Disruption is one of the ways Adolescent show the conflict they are going through as they show it through conflict with parents.

Mood disruption causes conflicts in adolescent if it is poorly managed, if there is unfair treatment among peers, no inadequate training on biological changes in the physical structure the boy or girl, poor communication between the adolescent and the parents or guardian, Poor environment, bullying and   other forms of harassment etc.

Managing of mood swings is the duty of both parents and the adolescent himself. The parents should be able to know who the child is and come in whenever they observe an unusual mood while adolescent should be open when questions are asked

Conflict with Parents is those times that parents do not understand their loving Adolescent any longer because of their disrespectful ways of doing things and the Adolescents think their parents hates them

As an Adolescent, how have you experience mood swings or disruption? Please post your comment on the comment session, we will like to read from you.

Some Adolescent carry this mood Disruption (anxiety, mood swings, anger, irritations, suspicion, distrust, hate, rejection, low/high self-esteem,) to adulthood and live with as long as they live on earth. So it really need to be managed at this stage

Question: Is this mood swings related to adolescents only? I doubt. There are  instances where parents battle mood swings too. In that case, who manages who?

Answer: Yes, that’s why I said the mood swings that start at this transition stage, if it’s not properly managed at that stage and overcome can live with the person till dead! Except the person will seek the help of professional trained counsellors. That’s why Think Counseling Concept is here

What about risk behavior, what do we understand by that?

Responses gotten:

Risk behavior is the activity adolescents embark upon without knowing or minding the consequences. Adolescents want to explore. They want to experiment. They see others drinking, smoking, moving about, and like to do the same. They want intimacy with opposite sex without being fully aware of the effects.

Risk Behavior Is the combination of neurological (mental faculty: intuition, perception, will, memory and reasoning) need for stimulation and emotional immaturity that lead to risk taking behavior like: falling into peer pressure, night-clubbing, partying and dancing till late night, drug addiction (cigarettes, Indian-herbs, cocaine etc.), indecent dressing/sex, criminal activities, secret cult, hooliganism, truancy, Adolescence pregnancy/abortion/childbirth and many more.

This behaviour comes up in adolescent due lack of experience and zeal to experiment in anything that comes their way.

What you should know as an Adolescent

1. Transition stage is a normal developmental stage for every Adolescent but their experience may be slightly different.

2. Most of the successful adults you see has gone through it, managed it and overcame it. You too can overcome it.

3. Your parents and other elderly people around you loves and care for you that’s why they are trying to correct you.

4. Anyone that sees you misbehaving and said it’s good does not really love you nor think of your future.

5. You are sole responsible for any decision you are going to take at this stage of your life.

What else should an Adolescent know?

Responses gotten

• An adolescent should understand that he or she is a learner in the field of life. A learner cannot know it better than the teacher, therefore, he/she should be happy when corrections are made
• Adolescent should know that his/her energy should be channeled to positive activities.
• Changes in physique is natural and nothing to be ashamed of.
• Foundation of future success or failure is laid during the adolescence.
• Girls are attractive during adolescence and should beware of people that may want to take advantage of them.
• They are not yet adults and should therefore be willing to learn from their parents and elders.
• They should not hide anything from their parents.
• Boys and girls should not be promiscuous. Any sexual relationship can lead to pregnancy.
• Adolescent should know the importance of communication with the parents at this stage and communication should be without hiding anything to the parents.
• An Adolescent should also know that this is the stage he/she should defined who they truly are from their belief system, values, goals, abilities and social Interaction. This will help them to build their self-image; because, psychologically, Adolescence stage is where personalities are formed. Imagine how the world is today in terms of values and beliefs! Most today’s adults were not properly guided during this stage of their lives.

 Also, Adolescents should speak out, discuss with your parents. Make them your best friend. Finally, Seek the help of professional Counsellors (Think Counseling Concept is here for you)

What Parents and significant others should know/do for their Adolescents

Responses gotten:

• They should understand adolescents sympathetically.
• They should deliberately teach and mentor them.
• They should be provided with guidance and counselling.
• They should be taught how to manage time.
• They should be taught how to be focused.
• They should be guided how to choose appropriate career.
• They should be equipped with how to choose friends.
• Parents should appreciate the peculiarity of each adolescent and they should not assume that their adolescent children must behave alike. Here individual differences must be considered in handling adolescent behaviors.
• Parents should appreciate the peculiarity of each adolescent and they should not assume that their adolescent children must behave alike. Here individual differences must be considered in handling adolescent behaviors.
• Parents should prepare for excitement and Exploration and know that if they miss the excitement and Exploration, they will face storm and stress…Love what they enjoy doing and join them sometimes to do them by balancing between freedom and control. If your son or daughter is a Chelsea, you can be Eyinmba fan, lol.

What Parents and significant others should know/do

1. You must understand that the Adolescents needs help.

2. Be patience with them, especially during their mood swings and withdrawal symptoms to enable you correct them with love.

3. Understand that they are longing for someone that understand, love and accept them so they can talk with you freely.

4. Teach them the different between love and infatuation

5. Partner with Think Counseling Concept (TCC) to guide your Adolescent aright.

Finally, How can we be of help to adolescents who have missed it? May be through adolescents child birth or drug addiction or prostitution?

Responses gotten:

First of all assure them that they are not written off. That they still have brighter future like their mates,

Both the Parents and the Adolescents would need Professional Counselling help.

 Exactly. Also, as individuals (maybe we have these people in our homes or family or around us), we should give them hope for a better life through encouragement and guidance to meet professional Counsellor.

Questions

How best do we handle this withdrawal and secrecy with the child? Also sometimes trying to correct in love may still not yield desired results in the sense that some inappropriate actions become repetitive .scolding seems to bring about some corrections too which may not last… Finally with the knowledge that these are Nigerian kids raised the typical Nigerian way not Americans, lol.

Answers: Maybe, both the parents and the adolescent need to seek the help of professional trained counsellors. That’s why we are here. You can private chat me after this session. Thanks.

Just by thinking of how secretive you were at that stage and how badly you wanted freedom, you will just accept them unconditionally. Whatever they tell you, use it to guide them, whatever they don’t tell you, and pray to God to guide them. No one opens up 100%. Even in Marriage, you hear most things in part and understand in part.

Yeah. But everything can be well managed by both the adolescents and their parents – if the adolescents is well educated before this stage arrives. Cheers.

Ok, people, nice discussing with you. I love you all. It was indeed a phenomenal experience! Cheers