Suicide is a state of hopelessness especially when you are face to face with the challenges of life in your school, relationship, family, job, ministry, career, emotionally, mentally, or cognitively. They are different signs and symptoms…. But, is there anything that really worth someone’s life?
In continuation, nothing on Earth really worth our lives. The Bible said “And it came to pass…” Everything that comes is coming to pass. Why should someone think of killing himself of what is coming to pass and it’s not permitted to stay? It’s just a matter of time and most times, the challenge always present itself to be a very hopeless situation – don’t worry, it’s a matter of time. Just a little hopeful patience. Our enemy, the devil always try to cease the turbulent season for his advantage, which if not we’ll handled leads to stress, depression, chronic depression, suicidal thoughts and finally, suicidal actions. Last week, a 3rd year student committed suicide! Please, let’s be our brothers/sisters’ keepers, watch out for the following signs and ask the person to seek help (TCC is here for preventive measures).
Suicidal tendencies can be the result of disappointment. The Scripture acknowledges this in many places, one place being the book of Job.
Job 6: 20.
They are distressed, because they had been confident; they arrive there, only to be disappointed.
Then the plunge toward suicide starts, and Satan loves that and urges victims of broken expectations/dreams to become 100% negative.
Jonah the prophet as well as Elijah the prophet had both low moments (disappointments, discouragements) that made them swing toward suicide.
“It is better for me to die than to live” Both said this. But God came in time to reassure them.
In Palm 73, we see a depressed Asaph slipping toward suicidal tendencies. He would have slipped into suicide if not for his residual little faith that sustained him and revived his spirit.
Partly he said in Psalm 73: 1-2, 13-14
Surely God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart.
But as for me, my feet had almost slipped; I had nearly lost my foothold.
Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure and have washed my hands in innocence.
All day long I have been afflicted, and every morning brings new punishments.
Psm. 71, also shows the secret of inner strength in the midst of challenges – undoubted trust of the goodness of God despite the difficult times or concerns. In psychology, we call it resilience.
Well, we shall get there. Let’s follow d discussions step by step. What are the signs of someone that is going through chronic depression or suicidal thoughts and actions?
2. Not being communicative
3. Too much anxious brooding
4. Taking to alcohol or other harmful substances
6. Being irritable/reactionary
8. Suffering from the oppression one form of guilt or another as a result of shortcomings somewhere.
We shall be discussing the signs/symptoms in the contemporary life situations. The truth is we all have experienced emotional imbalances but one way or the other we overcame it.
No. 1. At what point did we felt withdrawn (have we ever feel withdrawn from our loved ones, friends, church members, colleagues etc.). How did we overcome it? Discussion is for everyone and you can share with your contacts, please. Remember, by sharing, we are healing or saving a victim somewhere.
Prayer: Romans 12:1-3.
Oh Lord, I humble my whole spirit, soul and body to the control of the Holy Spirit. Sweet Holy Spirit, let the power of your presence transform my mind, thoughts, imagination and cognitive reasoning to the image of the living God so that I can manifest my true self in every situation of life. Help me Lord, to be conscious of who I am in Christ and in this world…. (Add yours).
Question: Counselor Rita, what interpretation can one attach to (1) suspicious living, (2) easily irritable and angry, and (3) obsessive belief that my views and opinions are superior to everyone around me? Your opinion and educated advice is awaited.
Response: I think whoever that’s exhibiting the above traits needs to talk with a trained counsellor ((TCC management). There may be unhealed hurts that talking with a counselor can help. That’s why I’m here – together we can solve the issue. Thanks
Emperor Nero committed suicide. His suicide was prompted by guilt
If he had had a counsellor to lead him to repentance and confession, it would have been different situation altogether!
Responses: Regarding points 3, 7, and 8, some of us are guilty of this. We should learn how to compliment people and the way we advise people if need be because most at times, you don’t know the depression a person is going through.
Statements such as you are really fat can lead to self-pity and leading to taking harmful substance just to lose weight which can lead to lose of life.
Let’s also learn how to control our anger towards one another, a lot of parents are suffering financial depression, imagine you saying words like useless man, that alone can lead a man to commit suicide considering the fact that he or she is already useless to his family.
You can reach out to people in so many ways, not just through advice, even in Church so many young ladies are depressed because of clothes, shoes meanwhile you have a lot in your wardrobe you are not making use of, spot such a person and give them in secret and not for the whole world to see.
Wow, open truth – this’s what I called “Nailing It.” It’s practical because most times we contribute to people getting depressed, without knowing it. I must confess especially telling someone. “You are getting too fat o”. Very true, the person may have been struggling with that fact until someone affirmed the “truth” to her! And, our mind is more attracted to negative thoughts than positive ones. But, we are here to attune our minds towards positive vibes because no one can make you happy except YOU.
In addition, some suicidal signs or symptoms are:
1: Reckless behavior/talk
2. Change in sleeping pattern – inability to sleep or oversleep
3. Increase in alcohol (if drinking before), or associating with alcohol drinkers (if not drinking alcohol before)
4. Pessimistic, seeing nothing good in self, others and government
5. Withdrawal from close association/friends (do not mistake this with “separating yourself from others” in other to be more focus in your life pursuit)
6. Feeling hopeless, desperate and helpless
7. Talking about worthlessness of life and contemplating killing oneself (now at this point there’s total avoidance from close friends).
8. Loss interest in school or work or purpose in life
9. Start leaving secretive lifestyle because of self-destructive possession like gun, rope or poison
10. Mood swings
11. Talking or seeing self as a burden to others.
Please, let’s start being our brothers/sisters keepers. I listened to a radio presentation last year and a lady shared how she saved one of her friends who suddenly withdrawn from her. He wasn’t picking his calls nor replied to her massages. She followed him up gradually to the point he opened up that he was being bullied by his boss and he was very depressed!
There was a point in my life I was blaming God, myself and others for my challenges. I kept asking “why me?” I fought depression prayerfully and psychological (because I was privileged to know all the signs). It was in that process I discovered that I am enough to become whatever I desire because I know who I am. The question now is *who are you?*
The ability to truly define who we are spiritually, emotionally and physically, will help us to overcome diverse life challenges.
A case in point: This is reality indeed, I am currently facing this ugly situation with my boss son as we speak, trying to encourage him back on track. Most of these traits are found in him. The father even took him to psychiatric hospital sometimes late last year. The genesis of his problem was that, he was deported from abroad without certificate after spending 5 good years studying overseas. This guy went into smoking of drugs as we speak. But we are trying to see he comes out of these predicaments. Starting all over study again in Nigeria by this year. It has not been easy trying to bring him back to track, isolated from friends, talking to self, and no respect to dad most times and so forth. He confide in me that I should take him to my pastor. But I think a whole lot of change has come from him.
Response: What he is going through right now is emotional trauma of rejection, abandonment and denial. He need to speak with a trained counsellor that will be able to help him stable again emotional. If he’s addicted to drugs, he need a counselor or psychiatrist or clinical psychologist. Prayer and reading is very good. But, the mind needs to be healed first- very important.
The causes of suicidal thoughts and actions
Some are: Abused: rape, emotional, verbal, and physical, abandonment, rejection, family history, low self-esteem, bully, failure, broken relationship or marriage, loss of job, property, loved ones etc., Looking at all the signs and causes, you find out that everyone have experienced one or more of them in their life’s endeavor. The different is the ability to take control of it, bounce back (resilience). Or, you can also do the following: sharing your experience with your spiritual head a trained counsellor or therapist. Talking to loved ones, get yourself develop in things that will add value to your life and others.